Is it worth it?
by Emerald Eyes 72
Summary: Lily is about to fall into great depression. The only thing that has kept her alive this far is the hope of a better tomorrow, but when she realizes it's not coming...what will happen... will James be able to withstand everyone's disapprovel and save her?
1. Proluge

Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot, and even if it seems formulary now, it's only because it has a basic guideline trust me it's different with help from my bffl... Doris!

Summary: Lily is about to fall into great depression. The only thing that has kept her alive this far is the hope of a better tomorrow, but when she realizes it's not coming...what will happen... will James be able to withstand everyone's disapproval and save her?

Date Started: May 2, 2005  
Date Finished: May 3, 2005  
Date Posted: May 10, 2005

Chapter One: Prologue

Most eleven-year old girls are scared of the dark or traveling down into their family's basement by them selves, but then most eleven-year old girls aren't witches.

Lily Evans had just turned eleven today, but you never would have guessed. There wasn't a single present anywhere and there was no cake hiding in the refrigerator. All you could find was a little red head, who's hair waved gorgeously down to her mid back washing dishes. Lily had received a letter this morning, she had saw it on the kitchen table, but she was way to afraid to go and grab it, but when her father's bitter sweat tone, almost taunting her, asked her to come sit down she trembled even more. "Look what I have hear, honey. A letter was sent to you". He reached out and handed her a letter. Lily visible flinched at the outstretched hand and slowly, cautiously took the letter. Lily began to rip the seal. A particular seal it was she noticed, it looked like a crest. AS she took the contents out of the letter she slowly skimmed the first page. Her face then clearly lit up… 'A way out' she thought'. Her father saw this sudden change in mood and snapped the letter back and also skimmed the contents, "No, way in hell are you going".

"But I'll finally be gone, you wont have to deal with me" Lily argued

"I said no, and that is final. You deserve what you get here and most definitely do not deserve to be playing around in some silly school… happy". He said the last word with disgust, cause just the mere thought of his daughter being happy after what she did made him sick to his stomach. "Now go upstairs it's time for our morning _routine_".

Lily quickly scurried upstairs, dismissing the letter for now. Like she had so many times before, she sat cross legged on the bed waiting… ever since she was eight they had started this horrible routine. Once in the morning, so she was awake. Once after lunch so she never forgot. And once after dinner, which was always longer and harder, to remember the whole entire night through. They had started this ever since the accident. Lily and her mother were out in the car and well simply had got into a car crash, but when Lily came out alive and her mother didn't all hell broke lose. Lily's father held her responsible fore her mother's death and was very keen on punishing her for it. Over the years Lily grew to realize that she did kill her mom and after time didn't think of the accident at all. She had made her own little version that night, where she killed her mom. After that the punishments became easier cause she knew she deserved them. Three beatings every day, so she remember exactly how horrible and worthless he is.

Because Lily truly believed she was a murder, and could never understand why she would kill her beloved mother, she stayed away from everyone. She was always scared she would grow to like someone or a have a friend and then absent mindly kill them. Instead Lily hid herself in her books. She would pretend that it was she in the book and live a happy life, but it was never real, but it was her own source of happiness so she kept on.

Lily is draw from her thoughts back to her room when she hears those dreaded footsteps come closer to her room. There's no knock, he just swings the door back and yells, "You dirty little bitch, how dare you even suggest to get away from your punishment" Her father (A/N who I failed to mention his name as Tomas) then unblocked his belt. Lily knew it was always better to stay silent no matter what. Talking always infuriated him more. "Don't ignore me, bitch" he barked, as he kicked her in the stomach so she fell over and then twice in her side. Lily now lay face down into the floor. Her father lifted the back of her shirt and brought the belt as fast as he could down onto her back. Again and again and again until Lily's world swirled black.

When Lily did awake, her shirt was soaked in blood. She went on to expect her wounds. Apparently after he had slashed up her back a lot, till you could see no flesh he had moved onto to her front and had slashed her stomach and chest until everything was bleeding. Lily slowly stood up, but then fell to ground from immense pain. This was most definitely the worst beating yet. The last thing she thought before she slipped out of conscience again, was that no matter what after three years of this her debt had to be paid, she wanted to get out of this, no matter what


	2. Of Escaping and Of Findings

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Date Started: May 5, 2005  
Date Finished: May 15, 2005  
Date Posted: May 17, 2005

Chapter 2: Of Escaping and of Findings

Lily slept till seven that day and when she awoke it was dark outside. She was hungry, have not eaten anything since this morning, but she was use to not eating since her dad forget often to let her eat so she just dealt with the strong feeling of emptiness in her stomach. Lily's first though when she awoke was to retrieve her letter and figure out how to get to the boarding school. Her dad shouldn't be hope for another hour; it was now her sister, Petunia that worried her… Lily slowly crept downstairs. By luck, her letter and the envelope were still on the kitchen table. As she crept into the kitchen, she failed to notice her sister in the far corner, "What do you want loser?" she asked. Over the years Lily had learned it's best to ignore what Petunia. And almost every other sentence that she spoke was a lie. Lily snatched the envelope and ran back up to her room as fast as she could.

Once back upstairs, Lily re-read the letter, "I'm a witch…Wow." She hadn't really registered all that was happening, she continued to read out loud, "Level One: Beginner Poliamas' Potions, Ilin's Common Charms… where the hell am I going to get these books? I highly doubt I am going to find these items in London's markets". Lily decided to worry about it later, for now she was going to get out of this house and according to the letter, she had exactly one week before school starts. Lily ran over to the window, hearing the garage door open. Her father was home, "Perfect" she said with the up most sarcasm. She grabbed what few belongings that mattered to her, a picture of her mother, her favorite book 'Old Magic' (A/N: awesome book... highly recommend it) and stuffed them into a bag.

Lily ran out of her room and down the stairs and out the front door. Her luck seemed to be changing, her father hadn't seen her, 'Wow… that was easy…Maybe too easy". She quickly dismissed the thought and ran down the street. When she was a good mile away, she slowed down a little, but still kept a fast pace. 'Now where to go' she thought. Lily hadn't actually thought this far into her plan. She never really expected to be able to get out of the house.

Lily continued to walk around going no where in particular, but when the first rays of sun shone threw the early morning clouds, she was too tired to go on. Lily lay her head down on a nearby porch step and fell asleep.

Lily awoke, what felt like minutes later, but really when she looked up the sun was almost directly above her. "You awake", a female's voice told her. Lily answered a shaky yes. "Then do you mind going home, I have company coming over in an hour", the lady's voice told her.

"Ss-sorry" Lily replied

"Ugh... Let me guess you don't have a home?" Lily slowly shook her head yes. "Figures… wait right here" The lady walked into the house only to return a good five minutes later, "Ok, they're on their way. Do you think you could wait by the mailbox for them?"

"Who?" Lily asked.

"Why the CSO orphanage of course. They're coming to pick you up. Now go wait by the street."

Lily went to the end of the driveway and waited. It felt like her whole fate depended on what will happen next. She had a strange urge to run... fast, but stayed where she was. Sure enough twenty minutes later a van pulled up. The van looked strangely like a dog catching van with a metal gate lining right behind the driver and passage seat. The vetachle gave off a bad feeling and so did the man who stepped out. He was big maybe six feet tall and was extremely wide. He looked as if he hadn't shaved in years. The man asked, "You, the girl?" Lily not trusting her voice only nodded. "Com'on," he said as he grabbed Lily's wrists, and dragged her to the back of the truck and pushed her in.

At first, Lily thought she was just in a small, dark compartment alone. She failed to miss the frail figure in the corner. It spoke, "You must try to get in 'B'".

Lily being utterly confused said, "What."

"When you get there, they separate everyone into two groups. Most of the strong boys and big girls are put into B. and the pretty petite girls and some good looking boys are put into A, You want to be in B… trust me"

"Why what happens", Lily was scared, this did not sound like an ordinary orphanage.

"Kids put in B just work, right now they have them building a new wing on the orphanage with bricks. Be careful though, working in the sun all day, do get them testy and fights between kids brake out often."

"And A," Lily was too curious now, she didn't realize how pale the other girl had gotten.

"They… they are to 'fragile' to work… they do other things"

"Please, can you tell me?" Lily really wanted to know what was so bad that this girl wouldn't tell her.

"They... they... they rape them" she spurted out the end, not really wanting to say it, pretty much because she pitted Lily. Lily was incredibly small for her age and extremely pretty. Alexis (A/N: sorry, I don't mention her name till later, but I needed to call her something) was almost positive she would be put in group A, but warned her anyway. Maybe this girl could meet the right people when she got there.

"Oh – how – how do you know this?"

"I've been there, I tried to escape. I was gone for two days, but as you can see they found me."

"Oh."

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Lily was contemplating what may or may not happen when she got there and what she could do to get into group B. Lily realized she had a good chance of being in group A, but being so little she didn't really understand what it meant to be 'raped'. So there was other thing on her mind like still having to find someone who could help her get her supplies… another witch or wizard.

"How old are you" Lily asked?

"15"

"Oh, do they let you go to school"

"Not everyone, just some people who go to a boarding school." 'They want to get rid of us any chance they get', Alexis thought.

"Do you go though?"

"Oh... yea I go... why?"

"I... uhmm... was just wondering... what's the name of your school?" Lily hadn't been in a school since she was eight. Her father believed she no longer needed an education, but that hadn't stopped Lily from learning. When her father was away, she always went to the public library. Lily ended up teaching herself to read and write. None the less, she was still curious about Alexis' school.

"Uhmm... Hogwarts... it's not very popular... I highly doubt you've heard of it... it's located in the heart of London"

"Really! You go to Hogwarts!"

"Yeaa... you heard of it?" Alexis was pretty sure now that Lily was a witch herself or knew someone who was.

"Yes, I got a letter... are you a witch," Lily whispered the last word as if it was a precious secret.

"Yea, I'm in 5th year. My name is Alexis Bordenare"

"I'm 11. My name is Lily Evans"

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Miss. Evans"

Lily laughed. It felt weird to her, she hadn't laughed in so long, and "The pleasure is all mine, Miss. Borenare." They both laughed this time; it made it easier to withstand the upcoming hardships to know now that there was a friend by your side.

"Do you have all your supplies? How do we get to the station? Is there really a platform called 9 ¾?"

"Hold up there, one question at a time. No, we are not aloud to get our supplies, but I usually sneak out to Diagon Ally with my best friend the night before school starts and then he drives me to the station. He's not a wizard, but he is the only person I trust in this fucked up world. And yes, there is really a platform called 9 ¾, but I'll leave it a secret how we get on it".

"Oh wow, do you think your friend will mind one more passenger?"

"Ahh, hell no. And if you want I can loan you some of my books, so you can get a head start, ok?"

"Cool," As much fun Lily was having now with Alexis (even if they were in the back of a dark truck going to a horrible orphanage), Lily didn't trust Alexis with her life story. So she didn't tell her about her dad and never having an education. Lily didn't think she would ever tell anyone.

Very suddenly the car stopped and Lily and Alexis lurched forward. "We must be here", was all Alexis said, all the friendliness gone from her voice and now was as cold as stone.

The back door slid open and the sunlight streamed into the car, blinding the girls for a second. "Lady's out", said a male's voice. This man was different form the one before. He looked younger maybe eighteen. He had a nice build, wasn't too skinny or too fat. His brown locks fell into his face covering one of his sea green eyes. He seemed friendly and looked as if he wished he was miles away from where he stood. "Sorry, Lexi I tried as best I could, the dogs still picked up your sent".

"It's ok; I'll be gone in a few days any how. Oh, Blaise meet Lily. Lily this is Blaise, he is who I was talking about before".

"Hello", said Blaise as he put out a hand to shake.

Lily flinched visibly and both noticed, yet ignored it when she shook his hand anyway.

"Lily goes to Hogwarts too. Blaise, do you think you take her to Diagon Ally as well?"

"Of course anything for a pretty lady".

Lily smiled she liked this guy; she managed a small, "thank you" before blushing deeply.

The gruff man from before, showed up suddenly and said, "Com'on no socializing. Alexis you know where to go. Blaise take the new one up to the warden's office"

"Yes sir" Blaise and Alexis replayed at the same time.

As soon as the man was gone, Alexis bent down, so she was eye level with Lily, "All right Lily, I'll see you later ok" and then hugged her tightly. Then as she stood up and hugged Blaise she whispered in his ear, "Blaise, help her please".

"I will ok. The warden said I get to decide where the next one goes. He said the groups are even, so it doesn't matter too much. I'll try my best to get her in B; she just might have to prove herself"

"Thanks," Alexis whispered back as she broke away. "Lily, I'll see you at dinner ok?"

"Ok," Lily answered.

"Com'on Lily, let's go see the warden, ok?" Blaise asked.

"All right" Lily answered. The group split and walked their separate ways, Blaise and Lily to the main building, Alexis to her "quarters". 'Things can only get better' Lily thought, as they walked. Little did she know, it was only going to get worse before it even gets close to being better.

A/N: By clicking that little bottom in the corner, you'll get the next chapter quicker... just a little hint 


	3. Of New Homes and New Problems

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Date Started: June 1, 2005

Date Finished: April 9, 2006

Date Posted: April 9, 2006

Alright I'm sorry guys; it's been over 12 months since I last updated and I really have no reason. I lost interest in this fic for a while... and then I got really busy... But know I've decided to give it another go, but one condition I will only write another chapter if I get at least, at least 40 reviews, that's all I ask of you guys, so yea... if you could do that maybe I wont give up.

Oh, and I know my writings not that good, but beware if you have a queasy stomach.

**OH THANK YOU TO MY AMAZING BETA, TAYLOR AKA: xLilyFlower28. SHE'S SOOO GREAT AND I LOVE HER SOOOOOO MUCH! AND YOU MUST READ HER STORIES THEY ARE A BILLION TIMES BETTER.**

Chapter 3: Of New Homes and New Problems

Blaise and Lily silently walked towards the building. Lily looked around and this time really noticed what was there. It wasn't an orphanage, no definitely not, it looked more like a… a work camp. She saw lines of people passing brinks around, they were building some kind of wall. Was it to keep someone out, or someone else in? She wasn't sure she wanted to know. Somewhere, she heard someone scream and quickly turned in the direction of the sound. And what she saw was something she had hoped never to witness in her life. There was a man, couldn't have been much older then 45, whipping a little girl while cursing and screaming at her. Lily shut her eyes quickly, she didn't want to be indifferent, but didn't know what there was she could do; so she grabbed Blaise's hand and held tight. Blaise looked down at Lily, and squeezed her hand back. He vaguely remembered what it was like his first time at this place, but he shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the awful memory and keep moving. Blaise guided Lily to a building at the far end of the camp. And only when Lily was sure they had entered the building did she finally open her eyes.  
The room was dark and looked like no one had bothered to clean it in ages. Actually, it was hard to imagine there were people there at all. Blaise led Lily down a long hallway to a door that read: P. Brown. Blaise knocked once and waited for a replay before slowly opening the door.  
"Is this the new one?" an overweighed, scruffy man asked without even looking up.  
"Yea… her name is Lily, sir. Uhmm sir..." Blaise started, "You promised I could pick where the next one goes", he continued, trying his hardest to sound like it didn't matter to him.  
Mr. Brown looked up from his paperwork and took one look at Lily and replayed, "No, I think I'll pick where she goes."

"But, sir…"  
"No, you can have the next one sonny, but you can visit her all you want at night", Mr. Brown added giving Blaise a wink, at which Blaise tried his hardest not to wince back.  
"Well, you see sir, I kind of thought she would make good use helping in the fields", Blaise said, trying to convince him not to put her in Group A.  
"Blaise, does this one mean something to you?" Mr. Brown asked raising an eyebrow.  
"Oh no, sir" Blaise replied, trying his hardest to not to make it obvious that he was lying through his teeth.  
"Oh… that's too bad, we could have made a nice twist and forced you to fuck her", Mr. Brown said frowning, "Well, show her to her home in Group A, will you Blaise? I have too much work to do."

Blaise grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her through the doorway without answering Mr. Brown. Once out of earshot, Blaise pulled Lily into him and gave her a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, so, so sorry, Lily"  
"It's ok, I know you tried, and it's not really your fault anyway. What… what exactly do I have to do anyway?", Lily asked, still a little unsure of what was being asked of her, or what was in store for her.

Blaise looked down at Lily, she was so pretty, in that little girl way. Her red curls flowed like waves mid way down her back. Her milky, white skin complemented her hair and freckles nicely and it was nearly impossible to pull away from her emerald eyes. Blaise sighed, "Oh Lily", his eyes glazed over with unshed tears, "They put a bunch of really pretty girls in this apartment building, and everyone does get their own rooms. During the day, you can be in charge of meals for the orphans and staff around here or you can clean the offices. But, then at night…" Blaise trialed off and gulped, he really didn't want to break such horrible news to such an innocent girl. Yet if he didn't, someone else will and they might not do it so nicely, "At night, you are to provide…Uhmm, pleasure, to the staff".

"So basically, we are sex toys to those men out there, who act like slave owners".

Blaise couldn't help but gape, he apparently had underestimated her. "They are pretty much slave owners. Oh, I'm so sorry Lily, so sorry."

"At least… at least, I'll be with Alexis," Lily said as she made a sorry attempt to smile.

Blaise tried to smile back, but it didn't work too well, "C'mon I'll show you wear and where your room is". Blaise led Lily out of the building and back out to the field, where the kids were passing bricks. Lily looked closer and saw that they weren't bricks at all, but red cinder blocks. Lily scanned the area for the girl that was being whipped before. When she found her she wished she hadn't, she grabbed Blaise's hand and forced herself to look. Lily needed to know what she was up against.

The girl, who was being whipped, had been originally wearing a white shirt, but now you would never know. Her shirt was red and in rags, soaked in blood. The girl's arms, legs or whatever skin was visible, was covered in bleeding welts, much like the ones you get when you snap yourself with a rubber band, except a lot bigger. The girl was still being followed around by the man who whipped her before, just waiting for an excuse to whip her again. The girl was struggling to carry two cinder blocks at a time, one more then everyone else.

As Lily walked she noticed that the girl wasn't the only one with welts covering her skin; and some of the girls were badly shaven bald, so there were scars all over their heads. Lily couldn't help but grab her hair, living in this boarding house couldn't possible be that bad.

Blaise and Lily eventually reached the boarding house and after a quick kiss on the head and promising to be back, Blaise left. Now, Lily was all by herself in a room about the size of a small pantry. She didn't know what to do or where to go but wait. She sat on the floor examining the small room, there was a window, but it was too far up for her to see out of and there were no closets and no dressers. Only a bed, one bed, 'Well, at least I wont be sharing a room', she thought, in attempt to cheer herself up. She got up and sat on her bed, after sleeping on a porch step the night before, she was extremely tired and it didn't take her long to fall asleep. With dreams of Diagon Ally with Blaise and Alexis, Lily had a peaceful sleep… well, about as peaceful as you can get when your dad beats you, you ran away from home, and now your stuck in some sort of work camp, forced to become some old man's sex slave.

It wasn't long before Lily was shaken awake. As soon as Lily felt someone's hands on her, she shot up.

"I was afraid I would go have to get cold water to wake you up".

"Oh jeez, it's only you Alexis, you scared me"

"Sorry I didn't mean too. I have come to give you the rundown. Since you're new, you'll get a younger guy tonight, they have some crazy rotational system so I have no idea which guy. I am two doors down, if you need me, but take my advice, your best bet is just to let the guy do whatever he wants or it will hurt so much more." Alexis said, assuming that Lily was still a virgin.

"Oh… when does he come?"

"Not really sure, everyone gets off from work at 8 o'clock, so somewhere around then would be my guess."

"Alexis… what time is it now"

"7:50", she mumbles under her breath, "I got to go, but I brought you some of my school books like I promised, maybe they will keep you busy during the day… or while you wait for this guy to show up."

A small, "Thanks," was Lily's reply.  
"Oh, I promise we will be out of here soon, only a few more days till school, just hang in there, think about going to a magical castle, far away, where no bad people will ever find you." Alexis didn't see any use scaring Lily even more about the Dark Lord, she would learn soon enough. "Hey, you may never know, maybe they'll forget to send someone up here today." Alexis said with a weak smile.

Lily smiled back, "Ironic, how even now, I am hoping they forget about me"

Alexis leaned over and gave Lily a great big hug. 'There is no need for an eleven year old girl to go through this, no matter what she's already seen, maybe Blaise can drive us early to Diagon Ally and we'll stay in a hotel till the bus shows up', Alexis thought. As Alexis pulled back there was a knock at the door. The two girls pulled apart, Alexis kissed Lily on the forehead good-bye, and they both walked to the door to see what evil being will be fucking an eleven year old girl tonight.

A/N: Alright I apologize besides this chapter being extremely late; it's extremely short and not very good. I sorta uhmm lost where I was going with this story. I had plans on paper of what was going to happen in each chapter, I did, I swear, I just don't know where it is.  
If I get some reviews, positive or negative (constructive criticism) ill update sooner. Again, I apologize.


End file.
